and every time i see him i wonder 'does he think he's sexy? does he think i want his body? come on greasy coconut man, let me know.' he is so repulsive. his glistening white hair on his bright red shiny body. yuck. i want you all to get the picture though.
i'm off work for a few days, and can i express how happy i am about that? i'm being productive. reading, glueing wooden desk drawers back together, getting supplies so i can paint some old chairs, packing a few boxes for the move next month. and definitely not answering phones or stressing about paperwork.
so i adopted another cat. that makes two. no more. i don't want to be the crazy cat lady. as it is, i'll probably die single. i don't want to be too stereotypical. in any case, he's one year old and his name is mr. charles bingley. a companion for the 4 year old mr. fitzwilliam darcy. i will recreate pride and prejudice. i will be jane austen...but hopefully not die of mercury poisoning in my 40s.
current music: gorillaz, demon days
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
yeah, so i suck. whaddya gonna do?
it's been forever i know. things have been very blah recently, and i haven't been in the best of moods for blogging about my boring days. i will blog more. i can't promise to try, but i'll try to try. so a couple of things. in the future i may refer to the following characters:
1) crazy mary - an old woman who pushes a shopping cart heaped with sleeping bags and all her worldly belongings. she likes to yell at people on the street and point out how many hookers there are just walking around pretending not to be hookers. recent quotes from crazy mary: "school abc"; "dislocated thumb"; "it has its mother". more to come...
2) greasy coconut man - he's always in the park when i'm walking home from work. the sun brings them all out. he's a hairy older man with white hair on his chest and shoulders and even a bit on his head. he wears short shorts. he lies on his side, red as a lobster, reading a book, smelling like coconut oil. need i say more? perhaps...yes.
i'm part of the mcclelland & stewart 100 readers club. they asked people to email a few lines to explain why they should get free books and write reviews of them. my lovely entry was one of the chosen ones. it went something like this: "i'm popular, i swear. please pick me." i just finished my first book: the time in between by david bergen. it'll be out in august, and i have a fancy shmancy advance reading copy. it just looks cool. to the bookies anyway...
i've become so used to analysing novels on a technical level that i'm not even sure i know how to talk about how i feel about a book. but here goes...
charles boatman is first a father, and secondly a vietnam vet. it's sometimes painful to watch the story reveal what it is this man has done and how he finally admits to his family the truth of his time in the war. like so many vietnam vets, boatman has returned to the scene of the crime to find redemption or some kind of therapy to help him come to terms with what he's done. but, also like so many vets, he doesn't necessarily find what he's looking for. following their father's disappearance, two of the adult children go to vietnam to find out what has become of their father.
i'll admit that if i read the back cover while in search of a good read, this is not a book i would generally think of picking up (i have to be very lame for a moment and say that i'll try not to judge a book by it's cover from now on). however, i found it engaging, honest and intimate. bergen is a lovely writer. the novel sometimes feels like it was written in a feverish state. half dreaming half awake. anyone who has been to asia will know this surreal feeling that is captured so well here. at times, as the characters develop, david bergen's description of the boatman family relationships is uncomfortable, almost too intimate, too stifling and yet at the same time, this is a family whose members don't truly understand one another or themselves.
so there's my plug. i liked the novel. read it. bring on more free books!
1) crazy mary - an old woman who pushes a shopping cart heaped with sleeping bags and all her worldly belongings. she likes to yell at people on the street and point out how many hookers there are just walking around pretending not to be hookers. recent quotes from crazy mary: "school abc"; "dislocated thumb"; "it has its mother". more to come...
2) greasy coconut man - he's always in the park when i'm walking home from work. the sun brings them all out. he's a hairy older man with white hair on his chest and shoulders and even a bit on his head. he wears short shorts. he lies on his side, red as a lobster, reading a book, smelling like coconut oil. need i say more? perhaps...yes.
i'm part of the mcclelland & stewart 100 readers club. they asked people to email a few lines to explain why they should get free books and write reviews of them. my lovely entry was one of the chosen ones. it went something like this: "i'm popular, i swear. please pick me." i just finished my first book: the time in between by david bergen. it'll be out in august, and i have a fancy shmancy advance reading copy. it just looks cool. to the bookies anyway...
i've become so used to analysing novels on a technical level that i'm not even sure i know how to talk about how i feel about a book. but here goes...
charles boatman is first a father, and secondly a vietnam vet. it's sometimes painful to watch the story reveal what it is this man has done and how he finally admits to his family the truth of his time in the war. like so many vietnam vets, boatman has returned to the scene of the crime to find redemption or some kind of therapy to help him come to terms with what he's done. but, also like so many vets, he doesn't necessarily find what he's looking for. following their father's disappearance, two of the adult children go to vietnam to find out what has become of their father.
i'll admit that if i read the back cover while in search of a good read, this is not a book i would generally think of picking up (i have to be very lame for a moment and say that i'll try not to judge a book by it's cover from now on). however, i found it engaging, honest and intimate. bergen is a lovely writer. the novel sometimes feels like it was written in a feverish state. half dreaming half awake. anyone who has been to asia will know this surreal feeling that is captured so well here. at times, as the characters develop, david bergen's description of the boatman family relationships is uncomfortable, almost too intimate, too stifling and yet at the same time, this is a family whose members don't truly understand one another or themselves.
so there's my plug. i liked the novel. read it. bring on more free books!
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Riddle me this...
i haven't blogged in what feels like ages. i usually try to write about something interesting and hopefully funny, but there just isn't anything special going on. if anything, i probably need a vacation. i will be going to my friend andrew's cottage this weekend, but i have to get to toronto first which is turning out to be more stressful than it should be. i hope i relax by the time i get there.
i just looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and it reminded me of when i was in junior high school and all the girls would go to the bathroom, shut off the light and chant "bloody mary" in front of the mirror. you had to say it something like 43 times and a hand (which i always pictured as green and slimey) would come out. i always chickened out at 41. in any case, i feel like i look like bloody mary. my eyes are bloodshot and i'm so tired. i'm a total debbie downer.
i was thinking of the movie grease the other day because of my pink jacket. i have an old navy pink trench that always seems to get attention. it's not just pink, it's PINK. so i was thinking that i could be one of the pink ladies. and if i were a pink lady, which one would i be? i'd like to be rizzo, but i'd probably be frenchie. in any case, then i was thinking about how it would be nice if life were like the ending of grease, where everything sucks, but then if you just put on your shiny tight spandex pants and curl your hair, you can get the boy and fly away in a car to live happily ever after. sigh...
i'm off to watch the season finale of csi and mourn the loss of frank gorshin...
i just looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and it reminded me of when i was in junior high school and all the girls would go to the bathroom, shut off the light and chant "bloody mary" in front of the mirror. you had to say it something like 43 times and a hand (which i always pictured as green and slimey) would come out. i always chickened out at 41. in any case, i feel like i look like bloody mary. my eyes are bloodshot and i'm so tired. i'm a total debbie downer.
i was thinking of the movie grease the other day because of my pink jacket. i have an old navy pink trench that always seems to get attention. it's not just pink, it's PINK. so i was thinking that i could be one of the pink ladies. and if i were a pink lady, which one would i be? i'd like to be rizzo, but i'd probably be frenchie. in any case, then i was thinking about how it would be nice if life were like the ending of grease, where everything sucks, but then if you just put on your shiny tight spandex pants and curl your hair, you can get the boy and fly away in a car to live happily ever after. sigh...
i'm off to watch the season finale of csi and mourn the loss of frank gorshin...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
ah collectors...
today at work, i got to live out a dream. i got a call from someone who didn't identify himself asking for a number for an employee. because of the privacy act, i can't even verify if someone works for the company let alone give out their phone number or work location. and because he didn't identify himself, i knew he was a collector of some sort. when i asked who he was, he said his name was steve, and he worked for an investment company. i told him that i couldn't release any information, and he started getting very angry. he told me i was making a big deal out of nothing, and that he wasn't asking much, and he was raving and going on. i said that he'd have to take that up with the government, because i could lose my job if i released any info.
steve: you're so paranoid. i can't believe you people... (starts into another rant)
me: and you're a jackass. goodbye.
it was beautiful.
steve: you're so paranoid. i can't believe you people... (starts into another rant)
me: and you're a jackass. goodbye.
it was beautiful.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
bookses
it feels like forever since i've written anything. i spent a lot of this week being very bored at work and surfing other blogs. this all started after i read an article about litblogs and the huge writing community online. it really makes me miss the days when i was more involved in that scene. which makes me want to read more, which makes me want to write, which makes me hate my job more than i do already. it's vicious i tell ya.
i recently read me talk pretty one day by david sedaris. sedaris has won a few humour awards, so i was getting ready to laugh it up. the book is in two parts: one and deux. one is a bit of a let down, mostly about his drug use and some of the strange little things that have happened in his life. deux is hilarious, about visiting france with his boyfriend and deciding after 6 years that he should learn more than the two french words he knows: "bottleneck" and "ashtray". eventually, he moves to france and the descriptions of his french classes are so funny i was crying.
i'm trying to find another book to read now while i wait for a few books i ordered to come in. i'm on a roll, and i can't stop! i've been reading a lot of contemporary stuff lately. if you have any suggestions, let me know.
i'm off for some coffee. hopefully the pee lady won't be there. the pee lady is a lady who frequents william's coffee pub and smells horrifically like stale pee. if it weren't so disgusting, it would be devastating. maybe i'll forego running that risk and go to starbuck's instead. so evil...
i recently read me talk pretty one day by david sedaris. sedaris has won a few humour awards, so i was getting ready to laugh it up. the book is in two parts: one and deux. one is a bit of a let down, mostly about his drug use and some of the strange little things that have happened in his life. deux is hilarious, about visiting france with his boyfriend and deciding after 6 years that he should learn more than the two french words he knows: "bottleneck" and "ashtray". eventually, he moves to france and the descriptions of his french classes are so funny i was crying.
i'm trying to find another book to read now while i wait for a few books i ordered to come in. i'm on a roll, and i can't stop! i've been reading a lot of contemporary stuff lately. if you have any suggestions, let me know.
i'm off for some coffee. hopefully the pee lady won't be there. the pee lady is a lady who frequents william's coffee pub and smells horrifically like stale pee. if it weren't so disgusting, it would be devastating. maybe i'll forego running that risk and go to starbuck's instead. so evil...
Thursday, April 21, 2005
pocket shrapnel
i was walking past the speaker's corner machine in the public library downtown and i caught a glimpse of one of the questions that is supposed to "inspire" you to record your thoughts for the local tv station, the new pl.
what do you think of the proposed $5 coin?
now, while i enjoy coins as much as the next person, i see two glaring drawbacks to a $5 coin:
a. as with the $2 coin, the evil vending machine conglomerate will see this is as license to charge more for their goods and services. or perhaps, they will go japan-style and start selling more big-ticket items.
b. it will be more difficult to tip strippers. not that i tip strippers, but if i ever were to tip a stripper, i wouldn't want to tip a large amount. with a $5 coin, the lowest stripper tip would have to be a $10 bill. that, or strippers will have to start incorporating a coin toss into their acts. maybe they already have. it just doesn't seem convenient.
what do you think of the proposed $5 coin?
now, while i enjoy coins as much as the next person, i see two glaring drawbacks to a $5 coin:
a. as with the $2 coin, the evil vending machine conglomerate will see this is as license to charge more for their goods and services. or perhaps, they will go japan-style and start selling more big-ticket items.
b. it will be more difficult to tip strippers. not that i tip strippers, but if i ever were to tip a stripper, i wouldn't want to tip a large amount. with a $5 coin, the lowest stripper tip would have to be a $10 bill. that, or strippers will have to start incorporating a coin toss into their acts. maybe they already have. it just doesn't seem convenient.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
thank you fat lady
the weather is gorgeous. sunny, blue sky, 17 degrees. i was in a weird mood today and decided i wanted some sugar, so i had my friend drop me off at william's coffee pub, so i could get some cheesecake or something. when i got to the dessert counter, there was a fat woman with her fat husband and their soon-to-be fat daughter standing in front of me.
fat woman: oh, the pieces are big
fat man: that's great
fat child: (giggle)
and that cinched it. i walked out. i've never felt so repulsed by food before. i've become way more conscious about gaining weight lately, and i feel like i should just go with it. i know i'm not fat, but boy, the way i eat, i could be. i've been lucky, but that won't hold out forever. sigh.
on a (somewhat) lighter note, i saw sin city last night. it was so stylish and slick. and so sleazy film noir.
current book: the life and times of the wicked witch of the west by gregory maguire. very good. people have asked me if it's funny, and when i tell people about it, it sounds really funny, but within the context of the book, it's just a story about an unpopular girl growing up. ugly, but very smart and cynical.
fat woman: oh, the pieces are big
fat man: that's great
fat child: (giggle)
and that cinched it. i walked out. i've never felt so repulsed by food before. i've become way more conscious about gaining weight lately, and i feel like i should just go with it. i know i'm not fat, but boy, the way i eat, i could be. i've been lucky, but that won't hold out forever. sigh.
on a (somewhat) lighter note, i saw sin city last night. it was so stylish and slick. and so sleazy film noir.
current book: the life and times of the wicked witch of the west by gregory maguire. very good. people have asked me if it's funny, and when i tell people about it, it sounds really funny, but within the context of the book, it's just a story about an unpopular girl growing up. ugly, but very smart and cynical.
Monday, April 11, 2005
toronto rock city
just got back from a weekend in toronto. it was great to get out of london if only for a few days. now i have to do some liver detox unfortunately. friday night i went to a wine bar called idoru (or idaho, depending on who you talk to). it's a very lovely little place on roncesvalles, with shockingly brave white couches. after some great sangria, we all headed back to andrew and meadow's to have more beer. this was a most unfortunate choice on my part. i ended up passing out around 1am.
the next day, had breakfast at a cute place called mitzi's. asked my good buddies to take me to ikea. got to ikea. asked my good buddies to take me home. too hungover to look at swedish furniture. picture my heart breaking. months of wanting to go to ikea, i go, and i wanna barf. sigh.
then saturday night, we went to the gladstone for karaoke. andrew wow'd 'em with "just a gigolo"; andrew and geoff did a great version of "rawhide"; and i did "calendar girl" by neil sedaka. the karaoke guy even sang harmony with me. it was hilarious. oh how i miss going to karaoke. i remember tuesday nights in osaka, going bowling and then to karaoke.
sunday morning went to a place called the beaver cafe: lots of pictures of the national animal, some gnawed wood and fantastic food. and nobody cracked a joke about the name. which kinda struck me odd, but maybe i was hanging out with grownups. it's known to happen.
walked around roncesvalles area, which has a large polish community. saw a beflowered statue of the pope. there were a lot of people wearing black and a few strange families taking pictures of their kids in the flowers.
seriously considering moving back to toronto to give it another shot. knowing people makes things easier. we shall see...
the next day, had breakfast at a cute place called mitzi's. asked my good buddies to take me to ikea. got to ikea. asked my good buddies to take me home. too hungover to look at swedish furniture. picture my heart breaking. months of wanting to go to ikea, i go, and i wanna barf. sigh.
then saturday night, we went to the gladstone for karaoke. andrew wow'd 'em with "just a gigolo"; andrew and geoff did a great version of "rawhide"; and i did "calendar girl" by neil sedaka. the karaoke guy even sang harmony with me. it was hilarious. oh how i miss going to karaoke. i remember tuesday nights in osaka, going bowling and then to karaoke.
sunday morning went to a place called the beaver cafe: lots of pictures of the national animal, some gnawed wood and fantastic food. and nobody cracked a joke about the name. which kinda struck me odd, but maybe i was hanging out with grownups. it's known to happen.
walked around roncesvalles area, which has a large polish community. saw a beflowered statue of the pope. there were a lot of people wearing black and a few strange families taking pictures of their kids in the flowers.
seriously considering moving back to toronto to give it another shot. knowing people makes things easier. we shall see...
Friday, April 01, 2005
google me, google you
i decided to image google some friends of mine to see if there were any photos of them on the internet, and apparently i have some famous friends. on the other hand, i suck. when i googled me, there were a bunch of old black and white photos of families in full-length bathing suits and 1970s sears portrait shots of women in their 40s.
and in other news, my personal chef and one of my best friends has gone newf. dr. christopher james lockett is now a member of the memorial university of newfoundland crew. cod tongues and screech 4 life! i'm happy and a sulky baby at the same time. on the upside is a free place to stay in st. john's. on the downside is no more gourmet meals to look forward to. props to the mun man.
and in other news, my personal chef and one of my best friends has gone newf. dr. christopher james lockett is now a member of the memorial university of newfoundland crew. cod tongues and screech 4 life! i'm happy and a sulky baby at the same time. on the upside is a free place to stay in st. john's. on the downside is no more gourmet meals to look forward to. props to the mun man.
Monday, March 28, 2005
two dialogues that shouldn't happen (but did) at work
guy1: hi, i'd like to update some information on your system. the person who is listed as my daughter, is actually my common-law.
me: we'll fix that right up so you don't look like a ped.
guy1: ...
guy2: hi, i'd like to update some information on your system. i'm listed as female, but i'm not.
me: yeah, you sound pretty masculine. lucky for you we do free, quick and painless sex changes. you have nothing to worry about. it'll be over before you know it.
guy2: ...
note to self: shut mouth
me: we'll fix that right up so you don't look like a ped.
guy1: ...
guy2: hi, i'd like to update some information on your system. i'm listed as female, but i'm not.
me: yeah, you sound pretty masculine. lucky for you we do free, quick and painless sex changes. you have nothing to worry about. it'll be over before you know it.
guy2: ...
note to self: shut mouth
Sunday, March 27, 2005
clarissa minus 2. it's the new math and i'm getting it
the weekend has been quiet, though i had to call the neighbour this morning at 6:30 to turn down the happenin' tunes. all i could hear (through my earplugs) was thump thump thump thump. i was half asleep and i couldn't tell if it was my heart beating through a megaphone or if there were giant bunnies getting busy.
i had my eyebrows waxed for the first time yesterday. i didn't think i had enough eyebrow to worry about, but i thought i'd give it a shot anyway. it was quick and painless. but man, i wonder what my face looked like when she ripped off the cloth.
walking around in london, i always get some drunk guy or some punk trying to be a smart ass to get some kind of reaction out of me:
do you think red heads are sexy? (and then wink or wave or grab his crotch)
hey nice skirt
my pleasure
hello (i mean, please!)
he needed a date for some event. he didn't know where to find a woman because...
he was from "america"
he asked me: why i colour my hair, was i busy saturday night, did i believe that his name was two
anyway, loooooong story slightly shortened, guess who i bump into on dundas street while on my lunch break last week? two! still drunk,
2: how you doin?
me: fine thanks (smiled)
2: i love your smile
me: that's great (walked off)
i'm learning, but very slowly.
current music: the decemberists, picaresque. i've listened to it about 7 times in a row, and i can't get it out of my head. very good stuff. they make songs about lords and ladies and barons listenable again.
i had my eyebrows waxed for the first time yesterday. i didn't think i had enough eyebrow to worry about, but i thought i'd give it a shot anyway. it was quick and painless. but man, i wonder what my face looked like when she ripped off the cloth.
walking around in london, i always get some drunk guy or some punk trying to be a smart ass to get some kind of reaction out of me:
do you think red heads are sexy? (and then wink or wave or grab his crotch)
hey nice skirt
my pleasure
hello (i mean, please!)
he needed a date for some event. he didn't know where to find a woman because...
he was from "america"
he asked me: why i colour my hair, was i busy saturday night, did i believe that his name was two
anyway, loooooong story slightly shortened, guess who i bump into on dundas street while on my lunch break last week? two! still drunk,
2: how you doin?
me: fine thanks (smiled)
2: i love your smile
me: that's great (walked off)
i'm learning, but very slowly.
current music: the decemberists, picaresque. i've listened to it about 7 times in a row, and i can't get it out of my head. very good stuff. they make songs about lords and ladies and barons listenable again.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
crazy week for poor old me
my friends andrew and geoff came down from toronto this week, and hijinx ensued. monday night drank, played poker, drank some more. tuesday went to work late and hungover. blah. wednesday night ate cheese fondue and then chocolate fondue and drank at the barking frog, then moved to molly bloom's and drank some more. then andrew and i dropped our mad scientifix on the dance floor to stevie wonder's superstitious. what a great song. it was some good craic, but i'm ready for a quiet long weekend.
the phones are quiet at work today which is nice, but the day will drag on...on the upside the people calling in are great. one guy told me he hopes the easter bunny is good to me, and another woman called me sweetie over and over again. too cute. much better than someone yelling and threatening to sue.
current music: johnny cash, greatest hits (pretty cheesy website)
the phones are quiet at work today which is nice, but the day will drag on...on the upside the people calling in are great. one guy told me he hopes the easter bunny is good to me, and another woman called me sweetie over and over again. too cute. much better than someone yelling and threatening to sue.
current music: johnny cash, greatest hits (pretty cheesy website)
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
i've been reading too many mcsweeny's lists
while bored at work, top 10 words you can spell upside down on a calculator assigning the numbers as follows -- 1 = I, 3 = E, 4 = h, 5 = S, 7 = L, 8 = B, 9 = G, 0 = O -- and excluding plurals and the suffix -less:
shoe
boob
goes
goose
hose
shell
goo
hog
oil
blog
shoe
boob
goes
goose
hose
shell
goo
hog
oil
blog
Monday, March 14, 2005
rotating around the sky fire
i think everyone has years that they agonise about. turning 20 was my first nightmare. i thought that when i turned 20, all my memories from 19 under would suddenly disappear, that i wouldn't recall anything from highschool. a former professor/friend of mind said that forgetting high school wasn't a bad thing and i felt better.
i then freaked out at 24 and 27. not for any reason that comes to mind, just a random panic. and now, i'm 29 1/2 today. how gross is that? i really don't feel almost 30. shouldn't i be more mature and accomplished? and married and have a car and a house? my friend nathan says it's just a number, just 30 rotations around the sky fire. i'm totally agonising about it, and at the same time, i know it's silly. i'm always being told that i don't look my age. when i was a kid i knew age was just a number, and now it's a big, flabby, wrinkled, spinster monster with coke-bottle glasses and knobby cardigan sweaters. sigh.
i watched a very cool show on scream the other day called ghostwatch. it was a bbc pseudo-documentary broadcast on hallowe'en 1992. it was presented as a real news show with well-known bbc newscasters spending an evening with a family who claimed their house was haunted, and it ended up being the first tv show blamed for post traumatic stress disorder! it was never aired again, and just recently became available on dvd. gallons better than the blair witch project (which i won't even link, because it sucked so bad), it really follows in the steps of war of the worlds (check out mercury theatre to listen to it).
i then freaked out at 24 and 27. not for any reason that comes to mind, just a random panic. and now, i'm 29 1/2 today. how gross is that? i really don't feel almost 30. shouldn't i be more mature and accomplished? and married and have a car and a house? my friend nathan says it's just a number, just 30 rotations around the sky fire. i'm totally agonising about it, and at the same time, i know it's silly. i'm always being told that i don't look my age. when i was a kid i knew age was just a number, and now it's a big, flabby, wrinkled, spinster monster with coke-bottle glasses and knobby cardigan sweaters. sigh.
i watched a very cool show on scream the other day called ghostwatch. it was a bbc pseudo-documentary broadcast on hallowe'en 1992. it was presented as a real news show with well-known bbc newscasters spending an evening with a family who claimed their house was haunted, and it ended up being the first tv show blamed for post traumatic stress disorder! it was never aired again, and just recently became available on dvd. gallons better than the blair witch project (which i won't even link, because it sucked so bad), it really follows in the steps of war of the worlds (check out mercury theatre to listen to it).
Sunday, March 13, 2005
disco inferno
work is going allright. my boss was pissed off at me last week, and that was less than pleasant. it took a week of being a totally innocuous, shoot-the-shit employee to smooth things over. it's not a perfect job, but it's a job, and i'd like to keep it. and i also want to ask for benefits, so i should try not to rock the boat.
my roommate is reading dante's inferno, and we were trying to think of who to cast in the film version. this is what we came up with:
director / dante: roberto benigni
virgil: umberto eco
beatrice: monica belucci
satan: tim roth/gary oldman/ralph fiennes -- for satan's three faces
count ugolino: robin williams
archbishop ruggieri: billy crystal
charon: jack nicholson
minos: brad pitt
phlegyas: christopher walken
the fallen angels at the wall: the remaining members of monty python.
the angel who lets virgil and dante through the wall: bill murray.
cerebus: benji
more black comedy than divine comedy. it would have to be an all-star cast in any case. i'll gladly take suggestions!
well, i just got out of the shower, my hair is wet, and i'm getting cold.
here's a gratuitous shot of jude law:
current music: the streets, a grand don't come for free. oh, and if you haven't heard it, you have to find johnny cash's cover of soundgarden's "rusty cage." it's sublime.
my roommate is reading dante's inferno, and we were trying to think of who to cast in the film version. this is what we came up with:
director / dante: roberto benigni
virgil: umberto eco
beatrice: monica belucci
satan: tim roth/gary oldman/ralph fiennes -- for satan's three faces
count ugolino: robin williams
archbishop ruggieri: billy crystal
charon: jack nicholson
minos: brad pitt
phlegyas: christopher walken
the fallen angels at the wall: the remaining members of monty python.
the angel who lets virgil and dante through the wall: bill murray.
cerebus: benji
more black comedy than divine comedy. it would have to be an all-star cast in any case. i'll gladly take suggestions!
well, i just got out of the shower, my hair is wet, and i'm getting cold.
here's a gratuitous shot of jude law:
current music: the streets, a grand don't come for free. oh, and if you haven't heard it, you have to find johnny cash's cover of soundgarden's "rusty cage." it's sublime.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
swedish yummies
for the past week, i've been keeping a frozen dinner in the freezer at work and yesterday, when i finally decide i'm in the mood for it, it's been taken over by jack freezer burn. so, i head over to nooner's. nooner's is the kind of place where no one likes to eat, but everybody does. there's one special there that i love though -- swedish meatballs and roasted potatoes. i walked in the door and lo! i could smell meatballs. does my nose deceive me? i look at the menu and lo! once more, i see my special special. i then pump my fist at my side and exclaim "yessss." yeah, that's what i did. i couldn't believe it myself. i'm so embarassing.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
i had a dream
i had a crazy dream last night that there was this evil conglomerate that wanted to create a fast acting virus. so they captured all of the olympic swimmers and shrunk them to the size of little bacteria to carry the infection so it would kill the subject quickly. what they probably did was threaten the swimmers that they would leave them as bacteria unless they did what they were told. so they had to spread this virus so they could be turned back to normal size. in the dream there was also a board game i was playing with my sister and a pirate ship. i had a sweet bike and a really nice power suit as well. but i don't know how they all fit into the "plot." i have a lot of weird dreams, but i think this one would make an awesome B movie starring christopher lambert or chuck norris as an evil scientist. tia carrere would have to be in it as well.
Monday, February 28, 2005
and just 4 years ago i hated them
yes, the proviso was that there would be no more than one cat picture, but i just love this sequence. i don't want to turn into the cat lady, so i promise that's it for a while. from now on, just gratuitous pictures of jude law.
i'm at work right now on my break. it's a busy day, so i'm loving my fifteen minutes of lame. the weekend was great though. i actually feel ready for the week today. saturday i was sitting at william's coffee pub on richmond, flipping through vanity fair and eating a strawberry caramel waffle. and when i left i realise how relaxed i had been the whole time. i haven't felt like that in a dog's age. even in spite of the guy (a) who went ape shit on a pyramid schemer (b). (b) was presenting his material like it was a serious entrepeneurial endeavour. (a) was like canada's own woody allen yelling at (b) and telling him he's a schill; "how dare you." it was entertaining. after he was done and the yellee stormed off, woody shrugged his coat up on his shoulders and said "uh, that felt good."
i'm at work right now on my break. it's a busy day, so i'm loving my fifteen minutes of lame. the weekend was great though. i actually feel ready for the week today. saturday i was sitting at william's coffee pub on richmond, flipping through vanity fair and eating a strawberry caramel waffle. and when i left i realise how relaxed i had been the whole time. i haven't felt like that in a dog's age. even in spite of the guy (a) who went ape shit on a pyramid schemer (b). (b) was presenting his material like it was a serious entrepeneurial endeavour. (a) was like canada's own woody allen yelling at (b) and telling him he's a schill; "how dare you." it was entertaining. after he was done and the yellee stormed off, woody shrugged his coat up on his shoulders and said "uh, that felt good."
Sunday, February 27, 2005
the battle for catalan(ding)
clarence: what...the...hell? darcy: i saw you up here, and i thought it looked nice. i hug the bookshelf all day. whaddya gonna do about it?
clarence: i'll tell ya what i'm gonna do. i'm gonna kill you! darcy: get off me you pussy.
darcy: yeah, how ya like that? clarence: what are you talking about? i attacked you. darcy: whatever.
clarence: gimme back my spot. darcy: no dice. clarence: dis ain't over
Saturday, February 26, 2005
next...cleaning the litter box
long week, no blog. things came to a head with the neighbour. we had to call the cops on her. she had a party that started at 3am and went until 11am. the cops showed up 2 ½ hours after we called, but the party was still going. she was totally surprised to see cops knocking on her door. “but there are only 5 of us up there….it’s an old house.” oh my gawd. the cops took their names and told them to turn the music down. they did, but it wasn’t enough. so chris and i didn’t sleep all night. i was so angry i was shaking, and i haven’t been that mad in a long time. when they turned the “morning after” music on at 11:30, i knocked on the door until my knuckles were red, and i told the sister to turn the music off with a few other choice words. i was obsessing about it all week. i just kept thinking of all the things i should have said to her. i’m so bitter about them now. and that sux.
ah well, other than that, the weather here is cold again. though one day, my weather pixie took her hat off. i was so excited. it was like seeing a robin in the spring. today i’m going downtown to cruise the market and the used bookstores. try to take advantage of the weekend and relax. the music is playing tonight at centennial hall, and i’m trying to decide if i want to go. i’d love to see them, but the winter hermit in me is taking over. the tickets are cheap, and there are still lots of seats, so i figure i can do a last minute thing if i want.
i have a zit on my chin that’s gonna go atomic.
current mood: tired
current music: 2 picks today: kasabian (slow loading site) & the weekend (awesome site)
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