guy1: hi, i'd like to update some information on your system. the person who is listed as my daughter, is actually my common-law.
me: we'll fix that right up so you don't look like a ped.
guy1: ...
guy2: hi, i'd like to update some information on your system. i'm listed as female, but i'm not.
me: yeah, you sound pretty masculine. lucky for you we do free, quick and painless sex changes. you have nothing to worry about. it'll be over before you know it.
guy2: ...
note to self: shut mouth
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